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You Can See Right Through Me

by David Clemmer

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1.
The bleeding stops early tonight. You filled a hole with nails and a fight. Got the soul of you in me now. Tear up the boards if you are in the crowd. My cigarettes are empty, my lighter is dry. You can’t see me unless I am high. And my alcohol and coke are hidden in my bed. Twisting lights of video poker in my head. The bar tonight will be something else. We will be louder than drums in hell. The crowd to multiply to excess. Blood and your beer will make my lovely mess. Arms will raise for five minute frames. We call the hundreds without their names. For my room there’s only shade. If not in the dark, a star will fade. Don’t call me rock’n’roll. Just call me tomorrow.
2.
Tidal waves of turpentine, wounds don’t slow, the blade’s too fine. There’s nothing I wouldn’t give. Chance to love, a chance to kill, giving up a chance to fill. There’s nothing I wouldn’t give. You feel like silk. I’m shackled here in hell, ringing once the mourning bell. There’s no life I wouldn’t live. There’s a burning feeling here. My life is so austere. There’s no life I wouldn’t live. You feel like silk. Wherever you are you can see our star. The sky is oranged out by the city here. Wherever you breathe you’ve got to believe there’s someone who loves you sitting here. You feel like silk.
3.
Vainglory 04:33
Insubstantial insubordination, wishing wanting wanton fornication. When’s your turn to speak? Cannot contraband megalomania. You think you’re so big, you think you’re so strong. Wait until you’ve fallen from upon your woman. Wait until the rug is pulled underneath you. Will you see your vainglory? Head keeps growing, growing, gone. Can’t fit the room you do not own. See validity, see your validity. What life do you want? You’re at the fulcrum. chorus Is this what you lust? Can you breathe in dust? Selling cars with no degree, can’t expect one to agree. No one will step in because of your ego, because of your lack of trust, because of your lack of insight, for lack of a better word. chorus
4.
Hollywood 04:27
Watching the sunset but thinking of the sunrise. In a perfect world, all that I will see will be your eyes. Time grows like a strip mall between us. Here I am at home on my own and you’re off getting famous. Wanna be someone you will remember. Wanna be someone you can call from Hollywood when there’s no light left for all the glitter, to get a taste of who you were. I hope who you are and will become are the same girl I knew. I hope I turn on Late Night and sitting there is you. I wanna see you on the silver screen, on billboards in the city, on MTV. I wanna say that I knew you once and say, ‘I thought she would.’ Call me from Hollywood. When you’re bored with your parties and premiers, just come on home and let go of your Tinsel Town tears. I’ll be waiting, we can stay up all night and watch TV. Just don’t forget me. We’ll go to the swimming pool and people will stop and stare. They’ll say, ‘Who’s that guy with her?’ but they won’t care. Just don’t forget me, just don’t forget me when you’re famous. And if you would, take me back to Hollywood. If you’re famous for being you, I could be famous for loving you. Seen with you outside of limousines, on TV, on the cover of People magazine. Forget the fame and Beverly Hills, forget the paparazzi and popping all of those pain pills. Forget signing autographs in the street. But when you’re famous, don’t forget me.
5.
Windy Hill 04:56
I want you to come find me here in this dark room and stand so near. The grass stands still on windy hill. You see this road. Drive near the end. Come find me here. Let me pretend. refrain And when you reach the top you realize you just can’t stop so you roll on down. When you’ve reach the summit you know you’ll just have to commit so you roll on down. refrain
6.
Last Ditch 05:03
Broken beds cannot be shared. Broken brains cannot be spared. And beautiful songs be written. Fingers will curl at the sound of a word. Blood rat vinegar crow snap ant murder. You said it yourself, no one will ever listen. Tear sheets from bed ‘cause no one will like them. Stay in the water ‘cause you’ve tried and tried to try them. Pay you money to find a new clean wall. Take it as a threat, take it as a sign of depression. Superstitious schoolwork, and to not know where you just so happen to be falling to. Broken beds will burn tonight. Broken brains will fuel the light. It’s all right raw, tribal coils, and incredible, incredible shiver. Broken beds house me and you. Broken brains flew free and grew. And now these beds are in the Pacific. Magnetic walls hold my thoughts. Are they there still or did they stop? Riddle me until blue in the face, and be specific. I fall, you fall, we fall together into a love we thought would never bring about the dead to the open space. Let’s make it breathe again, necromance, then we’ll soar in daylight stars to dance and love forever while time races on. It’s all right raw, and I find it wrong. It’s so incredible now. It’s so incredible.
7.
Spiraling downward one moment, I see my doom rising, rising to meet me, cold, cracked, cancerous. Caught and pulled heavenward I see you running, running to meet me, lovely, limitless, longed for. The morning prides in waking you, the world in bringing you in, the night in keeping you safe, smiling, singing, sexy. The clouds feel proud to house you, the rain to touch your face, the sun to brighten you, lovely, limitless, loved. Dots on walls and daring trains roaring so nearby in the night, blaring alarms of endless fright, dreaming, dancing, drawn. We’ll have our time which I will prove through shallow, blatant, and poorly-written poetry. Lovely, limitless, lovely, limitless.
8.
She’s got a scorn on her horn. She’s got a meadow and a field of corn. She’s got the line, she’s got the wall. She’s got the witness who’s seen it all. And the loneliness follows her around. She’s got her goddess, she’s got her moon. She’s got her flowers, yeah, she’s got her runes. She’s got my number, she’s got my room. Now it’s deserted,she’s got a tomb. And the loneliness follows her around. She takes her shoes off when she’s home. She plants her garden, then moves on. If love for me is prison, then don’t commit the crime. If love for me is poison, don’t you swallow it this time. She’s got her dreams, or so it seems. She’s got her back turned to the solar gleams. She’s got her drama but she’s got no play. She’s got her weakness but flies to the fray.
9.
You’re sitting shotgun in a car bound for the central state of dust and fields. Gonna buy water and bring it back. Gonna show off your well-polished Latin shields. Someone nailed up a flier to a post, telling you which ways to and to not go. You’re a good sport for a word game or two, and you’re well-winded for which way to blow. You’ve got plans and dented cans for the road. Got a little notebook and a half-full ballpoint, letting the ink draw out in a doodle of your bestest friend. Right outta high school and high with these dreams seeming to gleam in candlelight to lend out. Somebody put you out.
10.
Barrels and barrels of cheap wine rolled high as you strolled in. Looking and turning you’re finding no light switch to dampen your night with. I watched and watched them come and go like worms in the yard. It rained and rained and you knocked the peeling front door down. Catlike reflexes, serrated feelings, foreign dealings, and still you pressed on. Tapestries and tapestries in on my castle bricks hiding secret doorways and things. Pages and pages wrote you, canning memories for resale at far-off bargainings. chorus They tortured and tortured your pride and your friends and took you to deeper dungeons. People and people in cities like models sing one song over and over. I came to find you were not there and neither were your things. Maybe you’d gone on your boat to find your far-off bargainings.

about

Please download for bonus tracks!

I released this album in 2007 as a follow-up to Vermont Songs, but I released it before it was finished. Plainly, I was impatient with the limitations I had at the time. Now I've gone back and recorded the things it was missing, rerecorded things that could have been better, and removed things that were superfluous. This is the way this album should've sounded. Plus two unreleased songs, two live tracks with The Stoics, and a demo!

Enjoy!

credits

released October 7, 2016

Tracks 1-10, & 'Moon'
written, performed, recorded, and mixed by DC
violin on 'Great Bargainings' played by Briana Hinchliffe
mastered by Martin Mushrush

'Backwards Heart'
written by DC, Mike Chastain, Scott Page, and Aaron Poplin
performed, recorded, and mixed by DC
mastered by Martin Mushrush

The St. Francis School Tracks
performed by DC, Kaleb Kelleher, Ben Larson, and Aaron-Andre Miller (Prairie Emrich was part of this ensemble, but did not sing on these songs)
recorded and mixed by Chris George

'She's Got a Scorn' demo
recorded by Mike Chastain

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David Clemmer Portland, Oregon

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